Rape culture: on cover ups, dress code, and victim blaming.

What was she doing there? Of course, she got raped, she is always dressed so “indecently”, She must have wanted it otherwise he would not have touched her, he is a good man he would never rape or molest anyone. Whenever there is a rape case there is always a sense of blame not against the perpetrator but against the victim. As a result of patriarchy, the victims of sex abuse are questioned, not believed, and blamed on some level for what happened to them. The immediate response to sex abuse usually is to silence the victim and protect the perpetrator.

When a girl is raped by a family member, protecting the “family name” is always the priority. How she feels, what she is going through, and the violation done to her body is not as important as protecting the good image of the family, actually it’s not even relevant.

The issue usually is that she is not a “virgin” anymore and people would know. I have a friend who, was raped by an uncle when she was ten years old; she told me about how her family had a meeting to discuss the issue and she was not allowed at the meeting, at the end they decided to “forgive him” because he is a good man and he “made a mistake”.

Yup!! Made a mistake!!! Like I said how she felt was not important, so of course, they thought that they could forgive him on her behalf. Similarly, I have another friend who said that her uncle would go to her room late at night and touch her inappropriately, when she reported the matter to her aunty she told her that she should lock the door of her room before she goes to bed, as if it was her fault that he was touching her because she did not lock her door.

Similarly, a neighbor burst out in anger when she had a fight with her husband, about how she is a “good wife” and she has done everything for her family including concealing the fact that her husband raped the girl who used to stay with them.

I could go on and on with stories of rape, molestation, abuse, and survival because Most of the women I know have their own #metoo moment or moments or they are actually living the #metoo life right now. The point is, there is an overwhelming desire to protect families, institutions, and organization over seeking justice for the survivors of sex abuse.

It has been recently discovered that over 1000 children were abused by “300 Catholic priest, officials, teachers, and clergy over a period of more than seventy years” in The United States of America, and some people tried to cover up the abuse.

Obviously, the children who were abused in Philadelphia were not a priority to the people who were trying to cover up the abuse, and stopping the abuse was not a priority either. Protecting the perpetrators of sex abuse and their organization was far more important to them, and it didn’t matter what these children were going through.

Over the years I have heard people give silly reasons to justify rape. The most common reason being “she got raped because of the way she was dressed”- the whole ideology behind this, is that men can’t control their sexual urges and they are naturally programmed to harass, rape, and “take” whatever they want. As a result, women need to avoid being the object of their sexual desires by covering up because a woman’s body is dangerous and tempting – of course, this is bullshit and this narrative is very unfair to all the men who find such behavior to be very repulsive.

Furthermore, rape has nothing to do with the dress code! Actually, policing the way women dress with the guise of “cover up so that you will not be raped” furthers the rape culture, when these things are said, it sends a message to men and boys that they are somehow justified in raping or harassing women and girls who fall short of society’s moral dress code, and some men and boys internalized these things.

On the point that “men can’t control their sexual urges”- Truth is, rape is not about sex, it is about power; it is as a result of a man’s need to his masculinity by dominating, controlling, and trying to subdue another.

Rape culture affects many women around the world. In many cultures women are required to limit themselves to avoid being raped.

4 thoughts on “Rape culture: on cover ups, dress code, and victim blaming.

  1. Rape is power and sex. Rape is power through sex. These are not mutually exclusive events. Don’t kid yourself. There are many ways to express power without rape. Don’t believe this reductionist concept. Rape is also opportunistic. If you believe it is all about power, you will not consider many rapes. I’ve spoken with women who claim that all sex is about power.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t disagree that power is one of the ‘motivations’ of power. If I take Foucault’s position, everything is essentially about power, so it is unsurprising that rape would be about power. I made my point because I continue to hear the meme repeated, ‘rape is not about sex; it’s about power’, and Foucault notwithstanding, this—as I pointed out in my original response—is an overly reductionist view, a response made to a claim in the penultimate paragraph. ‘Truth is, rape is not about sex, it is about power’.

        Liked by 1 person

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